1
00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:05,040
And if you feel you can't see from
anywhere one of the sets and what's

2
00:00:05,040 --> 00:00:07,880
happening, don't forget to look up at
the television sets above your head.

3
00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:12,840
VTR 3751, part one, take one.

4
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:19,090
I can't find my tie.

5
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:20,690
You can't find his tie.

6
00:01:20,930 --> 00:01:21,930
Which one?

7
00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:23,830
Which one? The maroon one.

8
00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:25,190
The maroon one.

9
00:01:25,590 --> 00:01:26,770
Your dad's wearing it.

10
00:01:26,970 --> 00:01:27,970
Dad's wearing it.

11
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:31,590
Dad's wearing it. Dad's wearing it. It's
his tie.

12
00:01:31,850 --> 00:01:32,850
It's his tie.

13
00:01:33,090 --> 00:01:34,090
Oh.

14
00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:36,470
Sally, don't just sit there. Come and
lay the table.

15
00:01:37,570 --> 00:01:38,570
Can we eat now?

16
00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:40,890
Certainly not. Wait till your father
gets in.

17
00:01:41,090 --> 00:01:43,050
Why do we always have to wait for him?

18
00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:47,010
Because him is your father and him likes
to eat dinner with all of us.

19
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,060
Typical. Hello, Mum. Dinner ready? We've
got to wait for him.

20
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,360
Don't be cheeky and clear that table.

21
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,260
You all right, Michael?

22
00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:56,499
Yeah, why?

23
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:57,740
You're wearing a shirt and tie.

24
00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,040
Is that so unusual?

25
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:00,240
For you, yes.

26
00:02:00,580 --> 00:02:02,480
I'm surprised you remembered how to tie
one.

27
00:02:03,460 --> 00:02:05,180
Your dad's late. I hope nothing's
happened.

28
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:07,360
Mummy says that every night.

29
00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:08,919
Oh, she's predictable, Sal.

30
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,060
She's a creature of habit. They're all
the same, that generation.

31
00:02:13,660 --> 00:02:14,660
In a rut.

32
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:15,960
Stop work, people.

33
00:02:15,980 --> 00:02:18,460
Do you know, any minute now, he'll come
home, and what'll he do?

34
00:02:18,820 --> 00:02:20,500
Exactly the same as he does every night.

35
00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,020
Slam the front door and shout, It's only
me!

36
00:02:23,640 --> 00:02:26,400
As though it could be anybody else. And
he'll come in here and he'll say, Hello,

37
00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:29,800
family, the worker's home. Then Mum'll
come out from the kitchen and say,

38
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:30,779
dear, had a good day?

39
00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:34,080
And he'll say, Murder, there must be an
easier way to earn a living. Then she'll

40
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,080
say, Dinner's ready.

41
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,840
And he'll say, Good, I could eat a
horse.

42
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:38,840
It's only me!

43
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:39,920
Here we go.

44
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,940
Hello, family, the worker's home.

45
00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:44,460
Hello, dear.

46
00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:45,490
Have a good day.

47
00:02:45,950 --> 00:02:47,710
Murder. Must be an easy way to earn a
living.

48
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:49,609
Dinner's ready.

49
00:02:49,610 --> 00:02:50,610
Good.

50
00:02:52,350 --> 00:02:54,210
What's the matter with you two? You
forgot the horse.

51
00:02:55,070 --> 00:02:55,948
What horse?

52
00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:56,950
Never mind.

53
00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:02,850
You all right?

54
00:03:03,290 --> 00:03:04,249
Yeah, why?

55
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:05,390
You're wearing a shirt and tie.

56
00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:08,890
Last time I saw you wearing a tie, it
was holding your trousers up.

57
00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:11,450
I thought you'd be pleased.

58
00:03:11,770 --> 00:03:12,770
I am. I'm delighted.

59
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:14,160
I mean, who knows where it could lead
to?

60
00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:16,660
You might suddenly go mad and get your
hair cut.

61
00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:22,220
There you are, dear. Fruit juice.

62
00:03:22,580 --> 00:03:23,580
Yep.

63
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:27,040
I really look forward to this time of
day, you know that?

64
00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:30,760
After a hard day's graft, there's
nothing nicer than coming home, sitting

65
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,800
having dinner with your family.

66
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,580
That's a lovely thought, darling.

67
00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:35,560
Aren't you eating?

68
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:36,860
No, dear, it's day two.

69
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,040
Day two?

70
00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,280
Of my diet.

71
00:03:40,700 --> 00:03:44,440
I'm allowed an apple and a banana for
dinner, but I had the banana for

72
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:45,820
tea, so all I can have is an apple.

73
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:47,200
No dinner for me, thanks, Mum.

74
00:03:48,460 --> 00:03:49,640
You want a diet as well?

75
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:51,040
No, I'm not hungry.

76
00:03:51,340 --> 00:03:52,500
Not hungry? You?

77
00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:54,080
The human vulture.

78
00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:58,960
The original galloping gannet. Dad, I'm
just not hungry.

79
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:00,859
That's for me.

80
00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:02,720
That could be for me. No, it's for me.

81
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,040
Is he telepathic or something?

82
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:06,840
I mean, how does he know it's for him?

83
00:04:07,060 --> 00:04:08,060
It must be Julie.

84
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,700
Julie? Who's Julie?

85
00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:10,759
It's his daddy.

86
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:12,960
They've been seeing each other for over
a week.

87
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,200
A week?

88
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,820
I mean, they're practically Darby and
Joan.

89
00:04:17,060 --> 00:04:19,760
Well, I'm off now. Don't wait up for me.
Bye.

90
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:25,500
What's the matter, Daddy? I don't like
eating alone, especially with a family.

91
00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:26,780
I'm eating.

92
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:33,440
So you are, and I think it's funny
not... What's that?

93
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:34,840
Steak.

94
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,560
Steak? Never. That's not steak.

95
00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:44,610
It's made from compressed carrots, nuts,
sweet, red peppers and grated cheese.

96
00:04:46,530 --> 00:04:48,010
It sounds yuck.

97
00:04:48,850 --> 00:04:51,250
It is yuck. What are you eating it for?

98
00:04:51,490 --> 00:04:54,810
When one has principles, one must live
by them as best as one can.

99
00:04:56,690 --> 00:05:00,310
I see. Would one mind explaining to
another one exactly what one is talking

100
00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:01,310
about?

101
00:05:01,430 --> 00:05:02,590
One is a vegetarian.

102
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:05,150
He's one.

103
00:05:05,270 --> 00:05:08,830
It was only last night that one knocked
off three pork chops and half a pound of

104
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:12,830
bangers. That was last night, before I
realised how barbaric it is to eat meat.

105
00:05:13,110 --> 00:05:14,110
Oh, rubbish.

106
00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:19,270
You may scoff, Daddy, but I happen to be
against the indiscriminate slaughter of

107
00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:22,190
defenceless animals just to satisfy a
man's gluttonous appetite.

108
00:05:22,870 --> 00:05:24,290
There we are, lamb cutlets.

109
00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:27,310
I don't think I dare eat them.

110
00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:32,190
You haven't been drinking again at
lunchtime, have you? No, no, no. Our

111
00:05:32,190 --> 00:05:33,630
thinks it's barbaric to eat this.

112
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:36,149
Thank you.

113
00:05:36,150 --> 00:05:37,790
You must act according to your
conscience.

114
00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:39,350
Thank you. Or lack of it.

115
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:43,430
All life is sacred.

116
00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:51,390
Is something wrong, dear? Yes, something
is wrong. I've had a diabolical day.

117
00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:54,030
I've been up since 8 .30 this morning,
driving around.

118
00:05:54,230 --> 00:05:57,330
I've made 32 calls. I haven't even sold
a drawing pen.

119
00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:58,629
Oh, dear.

120
00:05:58,630 --> 00:06:01,590
So I would like to have my dinner
without any provocative remarks.

121
00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:05,550
Sally? let your father eat his dinner
and stop being difficult. I'm not being

122
00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:08,390
difficult. There, you see, dear, she's
not being difficult.

123
00:06:09,510 --> 00:06:10,510
Cannibal.

124
00:06:12,350 --> 00:06:13,350
I heard that.

125
00:06:13,730 --> 00:06:15,850
Yes, Sally, you may eat in the other
room.

126
00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:17,630
Very subtly put, money.

127
00:06:18,130 --> 00:06:21,990
Sally, I don't want you annoying your
father. Now, we respect your opinions,

128
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,530
please don't force them on other people.

129
00:06:23,810 --> 00:06:30,290
If your father wants to be a cannibal,
he's perfectly... I

130
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,520
am not a... cannibal. Yes, you are.

131
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,560
According to the dictionary, a cannibal
is somebody who eats his own species.

132
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,680
You're just splitting hairs, Daddy.

133
00:06:40,540 --> 00:06:44,720
That poor little innocent lamb that
you're eating was torn from its parents

134
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:46,900
be slaughtered. Well, that's got nothing
to do with me.

135
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:48,860
How would you like it if I was torn away
from you?

136
00:06:49,420 --> 00:06:50,540
That's a very good idea.

137
00:06:52,220 --> 00:06:56,760
That was once a little lamb running
about a field, happily dreaming of the

138
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:59,160
when it would grow up to be a sheep. And
suddenly...

139
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,080
I think I'll just have a cup of coffee.
It contains caffeine.

140
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,840
What does? Coffee. It's a drug.

141
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,100
Oh, God, blimey.

142
00:07:13,820 --> 00:07:15,720
You'd be better off drinking water,
Daddy.

143
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:19,760
As far as I'm concerned, water is for
washing, not drinking.

144
00:07:20,460 --> 00:07:24,160
I like coffee and I like red meat. I'm
hooked on both of them.

145
00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:27,420
You know what that makes me? A flesh
-eating junkie.

146
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,660
Now you've put me off my dinner.

147
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,620
I've put her off her blooming dinner.

148
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,760
The older generation. I am not the older
generation.

149
00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,040
You are to me.

150
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,220
Well, I'm not to me.

151
00:07:42,780 --> 00:07:45,100
There's a generation above me, your
grandparents.

152
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,820
They're the older generation. I'm still
in me prime.

153
00:07:48,100 --> 00:07:50,160
What are you shouting about? I am not
shouting.

154
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,460
That daughter of ours, the way she
carries on, you'd think I was ready for

155
00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:54,460
knacker's yard.

156
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,920
I'm telling you, I'm still in me prime.

157
00:07:58,300 --> 00:08:01,200
Of course you are, dear. At my age, I'm
at my peak.

158
00:08:01,460 --> 00:08:05,300
Of course, dear. Now, why don't you take
your shoes off, go in and put your feet

159
00:08:05,300 --> 00:08:06,950
up. Ah, don't you start.

160
00:08:07,850 --> 00:08:12,270
I don't need to put my feet up. Can't
you see I'm bursting with energy?

161
00:08:12,890 --> 00:08:15,890
Oh, good. Well, in that case, you can
help me clear the table and do the

162
00:08:15,890 --> 00:08:16,890
up.

163
00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:19,510
On the other hand, I've had a very odd
day.

164
00:08:22,530 --> 00:08:25,750
Funny about him going off his food like
that. It's not like him. Oh, it's

165
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:26,729
perfectly natural.

166
00:08:26,730 --> 00:08:28,830
How can you say it's perfectly natural?

167
00:08:29,430 --> 00:08:32,150
God, he's never been off his food in his
life.

168
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:36,320
When he was three months old, he was
going through seven packets of rusks a

169
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:40,760
Don't exaggerate. I'm not exaggerating.
The day after he was born, I gave him my

170
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:41,820
finger to play with and he bit it.

171
00:08:43,059 --> 00:08:44,059
You forgot that.

172
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,360
Thank you for helping me clear the
table, darling.

173
00:08:47,620 --> 00:08:48,620
All right.

174
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:51,240
Do you think he's ill?

175
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,020
Not ill, just in love.

176
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:54,840
In love?

177
00:08:55,040 --> 00:08:56,420
I'm surprised you haven't noticed.

178
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,840
He's showing all the symptoms.

179
00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:00,840
This is the second time this week he's
worn a shirt and tie.

180
00:09:01,390 --> 00:09:04,550
He washed his hair twice yesterday and
this morning he even cleaned his own

181
00:09:04,550 --> 00:09:06,450
shoes. He's really got it bad.

182
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:07,810
Oh, that's ridiculous.

183
00:09:08,850 --> 00:09:12,210
I think I'll wear beige with tan
accessories.

184
00:09:15,230 --> 00:09:16,230
What for?

185
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:17,290
The wedding.

186
00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:19,490
You jump in the gun a bit, don't you?

187
00:09:20,070 --> 00:09:21,890
I'm rather looking forward to being a
grandmother.

188
00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:25,710
Being a what?

189
00:09:25,810 --> 00:09:26,810
A grandmother.

190
00:09:26,850 --> 00:09:27,850
Oh, my God.

191
00:09:29,060 --> 00:09:31,720
After everything I've told him, he's
going to put some bird in the club.

192
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,820
Sid, don't be so vulgar.

193
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:40,840
Well, where do you keep going on
rabbiting about being a granny for? I'm

194
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:44,440
looking to the future. If Mike and Julie
get married, sooner or later they'll

195
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:45,440
have children.

196
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:48,300
You'll just have to get used to the idea
of being a grandfather.

197
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:50,540
I'm still not used to the idea of being
a father.

198
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,360
Besides, he only knows a girl.

199
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,980
In any case, you'd be potty enough to
marry him.

200
00:09:56,700 --> 00:09:59,840
There's always some poor innocent little
girl potty enough to marry any man.

201
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,500
I married you.

202
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,200
Thank you very much.

203
00:10:05,900 --> 00:10:07,060
I'll wash you white.

204
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:09,080
I don't know. I still think we're
jumping to conclusions.

205
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:11,080
If he was going to get married, he'd
tell us.

206
00:10:11,780 --> 00:10:12,900
Well, perhaps you're right, dear.

207
00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:14,320
When's the happy day, then?

208
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,460
What happy day? Mike and Julie's
wedding.

209
00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:20,760
Oh, Blondie, you're as bad as your
mother.

210
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:23,880
All you women are the same. You've only
got to see a fellow talking to a bird

211
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:25,040
and you've got her marching up the
aisle.

212
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,320
I don't.

213
00:10:26,380 --> 00:10:27,900
I didn't. Fact, not fiction.

214
00:10:28,180 --> 00:10:29,500
Fact? What fact?

215
00:10:29,780 --> 00:10:31,240
What do you know that we don't?

216
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:37,500
Well... I accidentally went into Mike's
room to find my transistor.

217
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:42,640
Yes. And whilst I was accidentally
looking, I accidentally found this.

218
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,020
It's a wedding ring. It's engraved.

219
00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:49,380
To Julie, with all my love.

220
00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:53,820
I'm too young to be a granddad.

221
00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:57,040
Thank you.

222
00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:33,740
Look at the time. Look at the blimmin'
time. It's midnight and he's not home

223
00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,540
yet. He's not Cinderella, Sid.

224
00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:37,840
Well, how can he be so secretive?

225
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,280
He'll tell us eventually.

226
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,080
When? At the christening?

227
00:11:41,340 --> 00:11:43,880
I wish you wouldn't keep on about
babies.

228
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,540
I'm sure that's not why Mike hasn't told
us. Well, there must be some reason.

229
00:11:47,900 --> 00:11:50,780
You know Mike's attitude. He's against
anything conventional.

230
00:11:51,100 --> 00:11:54,360
He's always said when he gets married,
he's just going to go away and do it

231
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,480
quietly. What about the booze -up?

232
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,920
What booze -up? The reception.

233
00:12:00,870 --> 00:12:05,830
You don't pay for it. It's the bride's
parents who foot the bill. I know that,

234
00:12:05,890 --> 00:12:08,930
but it's just the point. When Sally gets
married, I'll have to pay for it.

235
00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:11,890
But if he gets married secretly, he's
doing me out of a free one.

236
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:18,130
Can't we talk about it tomorrow and go
to bed now? No, I want to talk about it

237
00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:19,130
tonight, so I'm staying up.

238
00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:21,090
What was that?

239
00:12:48,750 --> 00:12:50,050
All right, Lady Macbeth, that's it.

240
00:12:50,370 --> 00:12:52,210
Do you think Mike has got Julie into
trouble?

241
00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,150
Bed. I'd be an auntie.

242
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:55,350
Bed.

243
00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,250
You'd be a granddad. Bed!

244
00:13:01,050 --> 00:13:02,810
Oh, you go to bed, darling. I'll have a
talk with him.

245
00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:04,830
But don't be too hard on him, Sid.

246
00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:08,110
Don't be too hard on him? I can't
understand you. I should have thought

247
00:13:08,110 --> 00:13:09,250
have been much more upset than this.

248
00:13:09,650 --> 00:13:11,150
I suppose I am a bit disappointed.

249
00:13:11,610 --> 00:13:13,290
But kids are different these days.

250
00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:17,230
Your trouble is that you don't
understand that. You won't face it.

251
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,190
I mean, I understand teenagers.

252
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:22,850
I mean, every mother looks forward to a
first child's wedding.

253
00:13:23,490 --> 00:13:27,590
Dressing up, flowers, white wedding in
church, photographs.

254
00:13:29,670 --> 00:13:31,210
Sally as a bridesmaid.

255
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:34,450
Nice reception with speeches and
everything.

256
00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:39,610
Sid? Yes? You can be as hard on him as
you like.

257
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:42,030
Thank you, I will.

258
00:13:43,210 --> 00:13:45,950
Michael, my son, we're going to shoot
this out.

259
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:48,820
If it's going to be a wedding, it'll be
a proper one.

260
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:53,740
My only son getting married.

261
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,420
Thank you, Mr.

262
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:28,700
Crabtree. One, two, three.

263
00:15:04,980 --> 00:15:07,080
I must sit a minute.

264
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:10,740
Hey, son, I want to talk to you. No, no,
John, I'm busy.

265
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,920
Mr. Abbott, please sit down.

266
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,880
Sid, did you speak to him? Not yet. He
said he's busy.

267
00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:25,240
Bed. Cannibal.

268
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:28,520
Is there any...

269
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:33,360
Who can show just cause why these two
should not be wed? Yes, I can.

270
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,620
Yes, my son, what is it?

271
00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:37,920
I'm too young to be a granddad.

272
00:15:39,580 --> 00:15:42,020
It's too late, Dad. The bun's in the
oven.

273
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,860
Do you take this secret to be your
lawful wedded wife?

274
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,100
He doesn't. I do.

275
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:12,340
And do you, Julie's secret, take this
galloping gannet to be your lawful

276
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,120
husband? He doesn't. I do.

277
00:16:14,420 --> 00:16:20,300
By the power invested in me by the
vegetarian church, I hereby pronounce

278
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:22,480
shirt and tie.

279
00:16:24,180 --> 00:16:25,180
Congratulations,

280
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:26,640
Grandad.

281
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:28,540
Grandad.

282
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,580
all night, you mean. Come on, now, we've
got to go.

283
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:47,960
Aren't you going to tell him?

284
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:50,700
Well, not yet. I'll tell him when we get
back from the registry office. I only

285
00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:52,500
told you because Julie wanted a
bridesmaid.

286
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:54,000
Shouldn't I have the bouquet or
something?

287
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,340
Sally, we're only going to the local
registry office, not Westminster Abbey.

288
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,340
Have you got the ring? Yes, I've got
everything. Now, come on, hurry up.

289
00:17:00,340 --> 00:17:01,340
got to be there by 9 .30.

290
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,080
Hey,

291
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:05,020
come back!

292
00:17:15,819 --> 00:17:18,660
off with Sally. He can't be left with
Sally. It's against the law.

293
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:22,740
She's a bridesmaid. Come on. I'll get
dressed.

294
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,579
No, you haven't got time to get dressed.
Come on. If you're going to see your

295
00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:27,500
own son getting married, you've got to
go as you are. Come on.

296
00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:41,600
Where's the blooming car keys?

297
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:42,699
By the telephone.

298
00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:43,700
Why didn't you tell me?

299
00:17:53,610 --> 00:17:54,309
Good morning, sir.

300
00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:55,310
How do you do?

301
00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:57,270
Oh, that's pretty nice of you.

302
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:03,990
On your way home, a fancy dress party,
is it?

303
00:18:04,390 --> 00:18:07,490
No, as a matter of fact, we're just on
our way to a wedding. Oh, yeah?

304
00:18:10,030 --> 00:18:11,030
Clever devil, eh?

305
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,690
Don't try and take the mickey out of me.

306
00:18:12,970 --> 00:18:14,430
No, no, no, it's quite true, officer.

307
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:16,250
Yeah, I'm sure it is.

308
00:18:16,570 --> 00:18:19,410
Look, I've heard all about these pyjama
parties in front of me.

309
00:18:20,050 --> 00:18:22,890
Oh, no, no, we're not going to any
pyjama party, are we, darling?

310
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:25,220
Oh, no, no, we're not, officer,
honestly.

311
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:26,880
Really, madam?

312
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,780
You see, what's happened is our son has
sneaked off to get married without us.

313
00:18:30,900 --> 00:18:33,740
He doesn't want us to be there, you see.
Well, all due respect, if that is your

314
00:18:33,740 --> 00:18:35,620
normal wedding attire, I am not
surprised.

315
00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:38,840
Well, what's that supposed to mean?

316
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,980
That means you are supposed to give an
example to the younger generation.

317
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,640
I beg your pardon?

318
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,400
Forgive me, sir, if I overstep myself.
It is just that I cannot stand middle

319
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,400
-aged dropouts.

320
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:52,610
I'll drop you out in a minute. Oh, no,
no, no.

321
00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:56,510
Oh, really, officer, we are in a
terrible hurry. Oh, that fact has not

322
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,289
me, madam.

323
00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:59,830
Seeing that you was doing 50 miles an
hour through a built -up area.

324
00:19:00,030 --> 00:19:03,690
Yeah, all right, we admit it. Now, can
we get a move on? We cannot hurry the

325
00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:04,690
with its due process.

326
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,610
Oh, God, blimey, we've got a right one
here.

327
00:19:07,030 --> 00:19:08,770
Can't you do what you usually do, sis?

328
00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:09,969
What's that, madam?

329
00:19:09,970 --> 00:19:13,050
Well, when he stops for speeding, he
usually flips the officer a pound.

330
00:19:16,470 --> 00:19:17,429
She's delirious.

331
00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:18,810
Really, sir? Yes, it's her nerves.

332
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:21,370
Could I see your licence, sir?

333
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:26,110
I don't usually carry my driving licence
in my pyjamas. You do surprise me, sir.

334
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:28,130
Name? Sidney Abbott.

335
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,190
Have any proof of identity?

336
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:32,090
Yes, my wife, Mrs Abbott.

337
00:19:34,190 --> 00:19:35,730
I'm afraid I can't accept that, sir.

338
00:19:36,290 --> 00:19:38,390
Why not? We've been married 20 years.

339
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:39,830
Have you any proof in writing?

340
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:41,810
Oh, dear you, what are you implying?

341
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:43,410
We've got a marriage certificate.

342
00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:46,850
Not your marital estate, sir, your
identity. Have you got a letter of some

343
00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:48,350
A letter? Yeah.

344
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:49,760
Yes, here we are.

345
00:19:50,180 --> 00:19:51,180
Here we are.

346
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,760
Master Jeremy Baxter, eh?

347
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,080
Thought you said your name was Sidney
Abbott. That's right, it is.

348
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,000
Who's Master Jeremy Baxter?

349
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,140
Well, he's my nephew. It's his birthday.

350
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,520
There you are.

351
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,620
Happy birthday to Jeremy with love from
Uncle Sid.

352
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:07,560
Uncle Sid, eh?

353
00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:08,720
And Auntie Jean.

354
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,920
Did you say you was going to a wedding,
sir? That's right, yes.

355
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,420
Well, do me a favour. Certainly.

356
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:14,760
Kiss the bride for me.

357
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,480
Come on, you lot, hurry up. You'll never
get there.

358
00:20:32,460 --> 00:20:33,460
Well,

359
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,200
come on. Let's go and put Mum and Dad
out of their misery. There's no hurry.

360
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,580
They think you were marrying Julie, not
just being Pete's best man.

361
00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:53,760
Sally, that's their own fault for
jumping to conclusions.

362
00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:55,520
I don't know why you couldn't have told
them before.

363
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,080
Because I promised Pete and Julie that I
wouldn't tell anybody.

364
00:20:58,300 --> 00:21:01,220
They wanted a quiet wedding, and they're
entitled to it. Come on, let's go.

365
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:03,920
Excuse me.

366
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:05,960
These fell off your friend's car.

367
00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:08,860
Oh, I shouldn't think they'd be
bothered. They just left on their

368
00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:13,560
Oh, newlyweds, eh? Good luck to them.
Where'd they gone? Some exotic pot, no

369
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:14,560
doubt? Edinburgh.

370
00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,599
Oh, very nice.

371
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,640
I went to Clacton.

372
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:18,120
Rained every day.

373
00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:19,440
Very interesting.

374
00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:20,780
That's all. Let's go.

375
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,040
I wonder if they're my size.

376
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:31,300
Oi. What do you mean, oi? Well, you
can't park there. You'll have to find a

377
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,640
meter. I won't be a minute. I'm looking
for a couple who were getting married

378
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:34,559
off past nine.

379
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,480
Oh, what a pity. So you've only just
missed them.

380
00:21:36,740 --> 00:21:38,740
Missed them? Yeah, that's right. They're
on their way to Edinburgh.

381
00:21:39,740 --> 00:21:42,000
Edinburgh? Oh, no. See?

382
00:21:43,220 --> 00:21:44,440
Don't worry, love. We'll catch them.

383
00:21:49,460 --> 00:21:50,460
Hi.

384
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:51,999
What's the time?

385
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000
South past twelve.

386
00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:54,620
Oh, crikey.

387
00:21:54,700 --> 00:21:55,900
They've been gone three hours.

388
00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:02,170
It may surprise you, sir, but we have
speed limits in Birmingham.

389
00:22:04,330 --> 00:22:07,030
Excuse me, I've got something to
explain.

390
00:22:07,290 --> 00:22:12,190
My son is trying to elope, you see, and
my name is Sidney Abbott. Have you any

391
00:22:12,190 --> 00:22:13,190
means of identification?

392
00:22:13,590 --> 00:22:15,610
Hang on. Darling, give us a birthday
card.

393
00:22:15,930 --> 00:22:17,250
We'd love to know what that's said.

394
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,000
Thank you.